An email i got the other day

[johoti]

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.



(Hardly seems worth it.)





If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.



(Now that's more like it!)





The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.



(O.M.G.!)







A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.



(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)







A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)






(I'm still not over the pig.)







Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour




(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)







The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.





("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")







The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.


(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)







The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.



(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)









Some lions mate over 50 times a day.






(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)







Butterflies taste with their feet.



(Something I always wanted to know.)







The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.



(Hmmmmmm.....)







Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.






(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)







Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)







A cat's urine glows under a black light.





(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)







An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.



(I know some people like that.)







Starfish have no brains



(I know some people like that too.)






Polar bears are left-handed.



(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.



(What about that pig??)

[johoti]

tell me what you think

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

If I have a another life, I think I'd still want to be human.

[darksecret3]

Brilliant! Hee Heee! >.< But, if I had another life, I'd rather be a girl in a favourite book of mine, I've always wondered what it's like to be a girl... Hmmm.... Oh and incase you're wondering, I'm not saying this so I could look at my own tits, I just want to know... ^.^ I also forget my point on this, because I have many, but male and female lifestyles are quiet different, (I think), so that would be why I would like to expeirance the other half of life. Although, in the end, I wouldn't remember the former life, so I would start wondering what it's like to be a guy... "Meh, ya' can never win. Ay' life?"

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

Me too... I always marveled at the fact that between male and Female humans, there is such a big difference that they are almost two different species. But I'd prefer girls over boys just becuase girls are hot. At least the hot ones are.

[johoti]

yes i often wonder what my life would be if i were a girl...

what would i look like, who would my freinds be, would i be popular or a loser.

would i be obbsesed with my looks or be a video game fanatic and still be able to woop everyone in SSBM

but there is one thing i now, i wouldnt be talking here right now if i was female, why

well i learned about runescape after BOYS swimming team practce in the locker room, where a freind told me about it

so in truth i might not have never met you (Tree), or Tom, friar, las, Rusted, Treemoul, soul, Psy, white, cubs, Knyle, Hiei and so on and so forth. (Now im missing someone)

so mabey my life is better as it is a boy mabey not, ill never now, but i wouldnt have made so many great freinds. ;D

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

Hmm... Well... despite this very. odd conversation. I love thinking about it. Sometimes I look at my life and wiegh the good and the bad, and if given a choice whould I chose to throw it all away and become a girl? ( by some magical force )

No wonder there aren't any girls on this particular thread.

[darksecret3]

Lol! Actually, a question, do we have any active girl members? And yea, Joh, you're missing ME! >.< If I were allowed to define hot girls, can I point to Ryan's current (I say current because he could change it to 'something' else. ) picture? Lol...

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

Yeah.. Aries is hot.

[johoti]

las comes here some times.

Darky who are you

[darksecret3]

I'm me! Lol, no, I'm Darky! The demon head-monster... Check my profile... On runescape, I'm the fabulatbousy 'Darksecret3.'

[moria]

Okay, I should not have read that in the school library. All the junior tutors are staring at me and my laughing. That was pretty funny, and I love the ooc coments... but no matter how good the orgasm is for a pig I still want to be a human. And I always thought of my sis as a ostrich (seriousely)

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

... oh you guys are lucky. I only went here once during graphics... if I get caught I can't use the internet ever.

[darksecret3]

Ryan... How old are you? I mean come'on, 25? Hesh... OOh, I like that.. Hesh! Hesh! ^.^ My word! Hesh... Anyway, ya'r wouldn't be taking graphics if you'were twen'ie-fiv'... 'Ould ya'?

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

Okay. I am really like 17... cause I didn't catch up on my other stuff freshman year so yah. I figured you'd get it right.

[darksecret3]

Hesh... ^.^

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

So anyway....

[darksecret3]

Panic!

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

@ the disco

[whistle]

Those were awesome... Do you mind if I quote them? I could problably commit them to memory, along with all my favorite songs.

[Ryan Aramil Savredox]

Yes, I life panic at the disco. Otherwise I would hav never posted it.

[johoti]

lol poor ryan,

im on here during all thie time during Graphics multi media lol

my teacher doesent care as long as i gt the work done lol

[johoti]

Just an example of what a joke this country's legal system has become.


Awards

Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards". As
you will recall the Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's
(in New Mexico). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most
frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United
States.......these are for real lawsuits!

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):
Nineteen year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000. and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car
when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on
a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. (In my opinion this is
so outrageous that it should have been 2nd place!)

4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence
into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an
argument.

2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000. and dental expenses.

1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven
onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back and make herself a sandwich. Not
surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual
that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus
a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis
of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

[johoti]

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?



Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well,
it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your
three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[johoti]

Your Pet's Diary

As seen in dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


As seen in the cats' diary :

Day 1,483 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their
bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers
of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait;
it is only a matter of time...

[johoti]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?


Unique Up On It.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?


Tame Way, Unique Up On It.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through

The Forest?


They Take The Psycho Path.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?


You Boil The Hell Out Of It.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?


Dam!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting

On The Ice too Long?


Polaroid's.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?


A Stick.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?



Nacho Cheese.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?


Subordinate Clauses.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters

In Quicksand?


Quattro Sinko.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11. What Do You Get From a

Pampered Cow?


Spoiled Milk.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12. What Do You Get When You

Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?


Frostbite.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of

The Ocean And Twitches?


A Nervous Wreck.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

14. What's The Difference Between

Roast Beef And Pea Soup?


Anyone Can Roast Beef.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With

No Legs?


Right Where You Left Him.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?


Because They Have Big Fingers.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To

Sky Dive?


Because It Scares The Dog.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was

Served On The Titanic?



Sanka.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

19. What Is The Difference Between

a Harley And a Hoover?


The Location Of The Dirt Bag.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always

Fall Down?


Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On

Their Hat.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

21. What's The Difference Between

a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?



A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

22. How Is a Texas Tornado And

a Alabama Divorce The Same?


Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, admit it.

At least one of these made

you smile !!

[johoti]

i got this one in january

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is great! A great way to end 2005!!

As another year will shortly be a memory, my heartfelt appreciation goes
out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,
blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the
message, as well as the ones who I have to scan through five thousand of
these great little symbols >>>>>>> to get to the text.

Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal
an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of
your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these
products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
cologne sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS, or FedEx,
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore,
and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I now
have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (my
favorite!)

I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special email program. (lol)

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diar rhea will land on your
head at 5:00 PM (EDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of mine's next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[johoti]

This is great! A great way to end 2005!!

As another year will shortly be a memory, my heartfelt appreciation goes
out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,
blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the
message, as well as the ones who I have to scan through five thousand of
these great little symbols >>>>>>> to get to the text.

Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal
an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of
your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these
products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
cologne sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS, or FedEx,
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore,
and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I now
have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (my
favorite!)

I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special email program. (lol)

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diar rhea will land on your
head at 5:00 PM (EDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of mine's next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[johoti]

this one is mostly for Tree and Hundanian


~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
>
> > >inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim
>
> > >by, you might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each
> > >year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,
you
> >
> > >might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
> > >you might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you
> > >might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
there,
> >
> > >you might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
> > >forehead, you might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live
in
> >
> > >Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
> > >in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you
> > >might live in Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in
> > >Minnesota.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >"Vacation" means going up north past Brainerd for the weekend.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You measure distance in hours.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
> > >without flinching.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
> > >unlocked.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
> > >use them.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm
> > >at any given time.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> >snow.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter ! and road
> > >construction.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You consider Minneapolis exotic.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
> > >blue spruce.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Down South to you means Iowa.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >A brat is something you eat.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You go out to fish fry every Friday.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
> > >Minnesota friends.
> >
>

[johoti]

> FIRST DEGREE
> A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
> at 2 in the morning.
> The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the
> phone, listened a moment and said "How should I
> know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
> The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said,
> "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the
> coast is clear."
> `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
> SECOND DEGREE
> Two blondes are walking down the street. One
> notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down
> to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
> and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The
> second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the
> first blonde hands her the compact. The second
> one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy,
> it's me!"
> `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-
> THIRD DEGREE
> A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on
> her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to
> his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
> door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
> Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her
> purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
> she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and
> puts it to her head.
> The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
> The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
> `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
> FOURTH DEGREE
> A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of
> state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask
> me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
> what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde
> replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
> `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
> FIFTH DEGREE
> What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told
> her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
> `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-
> SIXTH DEGREE
> Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA
> freshman, sat in her US government class. The
> professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
> Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then
> finally said, "That was the decision George
> Washington had to make before he crossed the
> Delaware"
> `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:
> SEVENTH DEGREE
> Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
> find her house ransacked and burglarized. She
> telephoned the polic! e at once and reported the
> crime.
> The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
> radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the
> first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached
> the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran
> out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the
> cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
> Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I
> come home to find all my possessions stolen. I
> call the police for help, and what do they do?
> They send me a BLIND policeman."